Thursday, July 21, 2011

Horrifying Thursday : Skull Spider

As some of you might have noticed, I missed yesterdays "Horrifying Wednesday". My excuse is that I was in such a stage of shock from last weeks topic, I was unable to come up with something to top our previous "candidate". In both a positive and negative way, I believe I've topped it.*

While this insect won't be leaping into your body and try to eat your flesh, it'll still be pretty sickening. If you have arachnophobia, you might want to look away and hide in a box for exactly sixty-two seconds.

A box, already in a corner. You're half way there.

Within the name, we already have a scary concept, is it a human skull walking around on eight legs trying to attack you? Hopefully not. The Skull Spider is also nicknamed "Daddy Long-legs". That should probably hit a few light bulbs of this horrifying creature in your head from your nightmares. Because it should, it should.

But probably not as horrifying as clowns.

The Skull Spider are "Pholcidae" which essentially means that they're horrifying; You do not want these climbing in your mouth while you sleep. 

These spiders are commonly known for their long "daddy" sized legs, un-proportional to the rest of their tiny horrendous bodies. Their bodies are about 9 millimeters, and their legs could be five to six times longer then the body, reaching up to seven centimeters in females.

The size of the spider's body parts, tends to make them very fragile. Picking one up by the leg would most likely dislocate it within a few seconds after you lift it up. Do you feel 2% safer? Don't.

These special spiders have the ability to easily capture and eat other spiders. In fact, they're known for being able to kill spiders much larger than themselves such as the "Tegnearia Duellica", or the "Giant House Spider". These spiders are proportionally much larger then the Skull Spider, but the Skull Spider would take the Giant House Spider down without a sweat. (Since Spiders don't sweat.) 

The Giant House Spider. Also, BURN IT WITH FIRE.

Here's another hardcore fact, when food becomes hard to come by, they may feed on their own kind. They don't understand the word "shame". (As long with every other word in the English Language.)

Pictured: The very essences of fear. Also, illiteracy.

While the appearance alone would most likely reduce fully-grown 250-pound men to crying babies in the fetal position lying in a dark murky corner. One of its many behaviors and personality traits makes it seven times more frightening. Why seven? Because after reading about these critters as much as I have ten seconds ago, you'll be as incoherent as seven buffaloes trying to explain String Theory to six-year olds. Bueno, si?

No, it's not balancing a small portion of caviar on its head. Silly you

Skull Spiders have a horrifying defense habit of vibrating and shaking in its web so quickly that they become blurred and difficult to focus on. It's like freaking Spiderman. Once they feel threaten, by a simple touch or a large prey is close-by, they suddenly vibrate like Desperate Uncle Steve during Thanksgiving Dinner. 

They definitely vibrate faster then your cellphone, and almost become invisible. Although, if a spider continues to feel threatened, they'll likely retreat to a convenient corner for you to brush away with a broom, or drop from it's nest and retreat. But that doesn't make your chances of coming across a web with four spiders dancing around in a blur trying to frighten you away, zero.

"Is he gone yet?"

Here's the positive side, they don't post a legitimate threat to your safety. They won't clutch down on your flesh and inject ten liters of venom into your eyeballs. Their venom is mainly harmless, and their teeth are too small to do any serious damage to your flesh. But if you tend to scream Bloody Mary, and burn your house down after spotting a single spider, then yes; They do pose a threat to your safety.

Along with everyone else you know; You psychopath.

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