Monday, June 13, 2011

How to Get Get Up In The Morning

So you're late to school/work again? You're teacher/boss is threatening to deduct points/lower your pay? Well it's time to buy a baseball bat, and destroy their office  and put it in your closet, because it has nothing to do with this! If you've ever had a problem not falling back to sleep after waking up, try some of these suggestions.

Even statues get pretty sleepy.

Put your alarm clock on the highest setting, but don't put it near your bed. If it's near your bed, you'll most likely turn off the alarm, and go back to bed. This will help you get straight out of bed, rather then turn off the alarm, and lay in your bed into you drift back into sleep.

Once you're up, go to the bathroom, and use it. Trust me, if there's one time people use the bathroom, its morning time. After using the bathroom, wash your hands as usual, then suddenly, splash water on your face. Room temperature to cold water works best. After that, shake your head violently, allowing the drops of water to drip onto the ground as you make a small almost audible grunt, or just wipe your face.

Don't make me get the spray bottle out!

If you don't need to use the bathroom, try going straight to the ground, and do a few push ups, or run around your room. If you did use the bathroom, and wash your face, doing this in combination of that will really get you up and kicking

Go to the kitchen and get breakfast. Breakfast can give you the energy you need for the day, and can help you get woken up. Now that you're up, make your bed, and make sure not to "coincidently" fall back into your bed and "accidentally" fall asleep.


During the winter, the temptation of your warm bed, and the cold evil world outside of it may convince you to stay in bed, but don't let that happen! One thing you can do is grab your sheets from underneath, or above you, and in one swift, fast movement, push/throw the sheets aside, allowing the cold to grab and choke you with death to wake you up. Before your body can realize that it's getting cold and stop yourself from pulling the sheets over, it'll be too late, your blankets would now be rendered cold and useless. Hahahahah! -Insert dramatic music here-

Everyone has their own ritual to waking up, this is only one of them, but generally, you want to "shock" your system in order to get it "active" and ready. Sadly enough, in these modern times, there isn't enough time to wait for the body to naturally wake up.

This guy obviously doesn't get it.

Protip: Get enough sleep every night!