Wednesday, August 24, 2011

How to Use Facebook To Destroy Your Future Career

Facebook is a lovely website, you can talk with friends, play games, and even find long lost siblings using surnames and pictures. What wondrous things can it do next? Ruin your chances for future employment? You bet it can! People of all ages can easily destroy their chances of landing that "ace job" in the future unknowingly on the facebook with a simple status update.

When a employer looks for a guy to work in their organization, they want a guy that is mature, productive, and can get the job done. If they didn't, employers would be walking around handing jobs out like pancakes. Going to a job interview, and handing in your resume isn't the end of the employment process. Sadly, they need to actually check if you really got four doctorate degrees at the age of sixteen. It's pretty difficult to bluff your way into working for NASA with a fake resume and a clean shirt.

"What do you mean I couldn't have won eighty Noble Prizes? I want this janitorial position!"

The truth is, companies run background checks, not just criminal history. They want to know if you're competent of basic work, and if you're sane. They don't want someone that wanders around drooling everywhere as they smash their keyboard with their own head during the lunch break. If you feel that I'm talking about you, I am.

Employers use various ways to find out how competent you are. They may call your references, look you up on white pages, check your profile on facebook, and even call your friends. What's that? Oh yeah, they look you up on facebook. Employers know that even though you appear to be a well-groomed young gentlemen during the interview, that punk-emo profile picture of yourself pretending to cut yourself with some disgusting/sick post on your wall doesn't help you look remotely 'professional'.

The truth is, many employers have realized the trend of people posting their drunk pictures on Facebook, and realized that they can simply search you and find out if you're a good honest worker or a underaged smoker-drug-addict. It's hard to count the number of people that have pictures of themselves half-naked, drunk, and even pictures of themselves drinking as a minor. It's like robbing the bank, taking pictures of yourself doing it, then sending it to the police department.

Might as well go straight to jail.

Not only can pictures destroy your chances of getting a job, but simply posting statuses and comments can ruin your future too. While you're young and immature, you may find posting racist-hate comments on your friends wall funny, but once you grow up and apply for work at a local supermarket chain, they might not find it as hilarious.

What if you simply delete it? Sorry, you can't. It's a fact that anything you put on the internet, stays on the internet. Nothing is "absolutely" gone forever after you post on the internet. In fact, you may have noticed that Facebook gives you a few weeks of "grace period" if you "delete your account". If you touch Facebook in any way whatsoever, your account instantly "re-activates" and suddenly all your pictures, comments, and statuses are back! It was all a lie.

Pictured: Facebook

If you want an optimal way to destroy your future career, go ahead and post vulgar, racist, sexual comments and statuses, along with half-naked pictures of yourself drunk out of your mind while you were a minor. Just to put the icing on the cake, write everything without the basic grasp of how to use your primary language, English.
"rofl i h8 all wite peeps becus they r white son. aleso i dun lik u a persan. im drunk btw. lol rite?"
But how can we avoid this? Don't worry, I'll help you out, 'friend'. One thing you can do, is avoid posting pictures of you posing next to ten alcoholic drinks at some crazy party. You could also simply not be racist or offensive, perhaps people will actually like you this way.

People like me? That's un-possible.

If all of the above is impossible, you can still do something about it. Simply go to your Privacy Settings, and only allow close friends to see your wall, pictures, and comments. That way, people can't randomly look up your name and find those pictures from after prom. (You know what I'm talking about, with those tubes and funnels.)

The most important aspect is to not add your boss to your profile, and avoid adding strangers. You never know if your boss has a account named "Britney Johnson" with a bunch of pictures of blonde women in order to get into your friends list discreetly.

Contrary to popular belief, employers don't have special privileges to access your pictures and wall. As long as your privacy settings are set, and you're wary of suspiciously good-looking young ladies that you've never met in real life, you're good.