Saturday, October 29, 2011

4 Ways The Cold Is On Your Side

The hot topic of the week is the drop in temperature. Unless you live under a highly ventilated, heated rock, you've probably noticed that you can't simply wear shorts and t-shirts nowadays. It's that time of the year to dust off the winter jackets and get ready to endure the upcoming cold weather. The thing is, some people find winter one of the worst things in the world, second to world poverty itself. Some people simply find winter as unbearably cold and would rather prefer the good ol' humid, warm temperature. The thing is, the cold winter nights aren't as bad as they're cranked up to be.

"I'm back!"

4. Weight Loss

Doesn't everybody want to lose weight and look handsome? While we can't change your handsomeness-level, we can trim some of the fat on the side. Winter can offer one of the most sought after wishes of every self-conscious, un-secure teen/adult, passive weight loss. Almost all magic "diet pills" use the same cliche to losing weight in exchange of absolutely no work on your behalf. But hold on, instead of expensive pills that "celebrities use", why not simply endure winter?

You can easily burn calories from simply sitting at your desk, freezing your finger tips and ears off. How? By simply sitting around freezing, your body is constantly trying to generate enough heat to make sure you don't die of frostbite. Your body doesn't simply rub two sticks together and achieve 98 degrees worth of temperature. It takes fuel to make that heat, and that fuel is your body fat.

More like 98 degrees of chocolaty goodness!

While that doesn't mean you'll lose twenty pounds overnight, it'll mean that you will slowly burn calories every minute of the day. Unless you turn on the heat of course.

3. Everybody Looks Fat

When you go outside, look around, who looks fat? Everybody does. The fact is, during the winter, people usually wear bulky jackets and pants to insulate their wasm, gushy organs. Thanks to this, you can easily pass off as just another cold fellow with a big jacket and avoid the social isolation commonly plastered with being over-weight.

Because it's not like you could have done anything differently this summer.

During the summer on the other hand, wearing a full body winter coat would make you stand out like a sore thumb. The winter in practicality, gives you an excuse to wear your un-flattering clothing while you await your weight lost from the cold itself. (In all seriousness though, you should be trying to become more healthy, not just skinny.)

2. Increased Fertility 

Sorry girls, but this one is only for the boys. The thing about sperm count is, it's extremely dependent on temperature. If the temperature is too high, it can drastically decrease sperm count and therefore decrease fertility. Thankfully, sperm lives and thrives in the scrotum, which keep your little swimmers away from the body's temperature and allows the heat to disperse easily before any damage occurs.

During the summer and heat, your entire environment is full of heat and evil. The sun is practically going out of it's way to commit genocide on your sperm count. Thankfully, during the winter, any small body part sticking out, becomes frozen like a popsicle. Thanks to the location of your thighs, your sperm can remain at a relatively cooler temperature for them to thrive and grow in, without succumbing to frostbite or extreme heat, thus increasing fertility.

1. No More Sweating

Luckily, this applies for everyone. Even if you love the heat, you can't say that you enjoy the sticky, smelly sweat secreted by everyone, can you? One of the primary benefits of the cold weather, is simply not sweating. Imagine the time in which you would simply sit in front of your computer screen, and sweat like pig. After each wipe of the sweat, more simply piles up into droplets on your forehead and armpits.

"The sun is going to eat us!"

Along with that, sweating can also make it difficult to sleep and exercise. I mean admit it, a few months ago, you were shifting in your bed every ten seconds, trying to find a comfortable position in which your body parts  didn't overlap and sweat onto each other. Exercising meant embarrassing buckets of sweat pouring out of your skin pores. But today, no longer!

But it isn't all about comfort. Without sweating, you can conserve more of your bodily fluids, and survive longer without water. However, allow me to remind you that the "fun mist" from your breath during the cold also contains your precious watery fluids. If you're alone and lost in the wild one day, keep your mouth shut in order to keep the water in your body, instead of in the air.

"Give it back, nature!"