Thursday, October 6, 2011

Things From Birth That Will Determine Your Life

Being born is one of the most obviously important events of anybody's life. Before that, you were just a big stomach ache for your mom, but now, you're all grown up and capable of basic reading, writing, mathematics, and reasoning. Congrats. You're a man/woman of decisions now. But the thing is, some of your paths in life were already pre-determined since birth. No, this post has nothing to do with the aliens abducted you and are watching and controlling your every move. I meant your simple fundamental foundations that make you, you.

Your Name

Your name is one of those things that identify you as you. But I'm not going to state obvious things about your name that may change the rest of your life, like having the name "McDonalds" or something like that. What I meant is the 'secret' behind it. Your name can easily determine the people you will make friends with in elementary school, intermediate school, high school, and possibly college.

The way it works is directly linked to the educational system in America. Almost 90% of all teachers use the alphabetic order of their new student's names to determine seating and other education related things. What this means is that Joan A. will most likely sit next to John B. because of the first letter of their name. It's as simple as that.

But how does your seating arrangement determine your friends? It's as simple as making friends with your next-door neighbor. Chances are, you're not going to try to make friends with that guy across the room in row six if you're in row one. A majority of kids/teens will end up building relationships and friendships with the people physically closest to them. Most of the friends you will make until college will most likely be determined by who's sitting next to you.

Oh you.

However, the prime time that this "theory" works, is during the elementary school years. The years in which you sit with the same 30 kids 6 to 7 hours of your day, build relationships, and create your moral values. If you keep stretching it out like a limp balloon, you can say that your name can actually determine your friends, ergo influences, ergo personality, ergo morals, ergo work/life structure, ergo work and everything else related to life.

While some teachers tend to change seating arrangements if someone becomes a problem or such, that would be the result of a pre-existing relationship with someone next to them. It's the system in work people! Pretty much anyone that participates in the public school system will be subjected to this "alphabetic curse" which will determine all of your seat mates and possible friends. So maybe you should put that in consideration when you decide to have children one day. Maybe having your kid sitting next to Matthews, Marks, Madonnas isn't such a good idea.

Your Birthdate

What could your birthday possibly have anything to do with the rest of your life? Will it change the type of gift you will receive according to the season and holiday? Yes, but it will also determine hundreds of other variables throughout your life and yes, it is related to the social structure.

Here's a fun fact, people born on January 1st 2011 are the same age of people born on December 31st 2011. What does that mean? It means that the poor guy born on the 31st, is almost a year younger than the guy born on the 1st, while maintaining the age. What that means is, the guy born on the 31st will be expected to preform and mature at the same rate of the guy born on the 1st, while still an entire year younger than his peer.

Consequences of this could even lead to misdiagnosis of "late bloomers" and "slow-developers" compared to their peers, which can critically hurt a kid's morale when he's seven-years-old, ready for life and told that he's a "slow guy".

"According to this, you are mentally retarded."

What we end up with is a "slow learner" or a guy that needs to step two steps ahead in order to keep up with the pace of his peers. But hold on a moment, we aren't done here. Let me ask you a question, what happens when you put a 4th grader with a bunch of 5th graders? Well you can't say they're going to be dandy and merrily prance around like bunnies together.

With a person technically a year younger, they will most likely be physically inferior to their classmates which will allow them to be bullied and physically assaulted.  Especially when middle school/high school drama kicks in along with hormones, those big kids with the beards and mustaches will easily dominate those kids with string bean muscles and high-pitched voices.What that means is that your birthdate can literally determine if you're going to be picked on or if you're going to pick on others.

Are you going to be little Jimmy to the right or little Tom to the left?

Hold on a moment, don't teachers and/or principals occasionally put kids a grade behind, aware of their age-related difficulty? Sure, why not? That'll work. For now. When the kids grow up however, they'll be one year older than everyone else, which may sound nice and dandy, but when you start realizing that you're pretty much starting one year behind everyone else your age and being judged by the same standards, you may still appear to be "slow".

The worst part is, this doesn't always occur to those kids born exactly on December 31st 11:59 PM, it happens to those people born on December, October, November, and September. Those kids that are a little under a year younger than their peers, are expected to preform and excel just like their January 1st counterparts.

"Hookey snap, check out this sweet card!"