Saturday, November 26, 2011

3 Reasons To Get Shorter Hair

Have you had your fill of turkey meat and super-early shopping this weekend yet? Me too. It's about time to hang your coat, put your new game consoles in the closet, and put your feet up with a sigh of content, right? Nope, you've probably got work, school, or work-finding to do on Monday. Life never gives you a break, does it? However, despite the amount you work on weekdays, there's one thing that'll follow you from weekday to weekend. Your hair. Unless you find yourself as a victim as a horrific radiation incident between the time you read this until Monday morning, this article probably applies to you.

Unless you're a BALD Eagle, if you catch my "drift".

I'm here to present the case of short hair. Have short hair already? Great! Move along with your shoulders high and chest bloated! You deserved it! Hold on, you've got long hair? What type of witchery are you trying to pull on me! (Thankfully, we're not in the same room.) Ignoring how far or how close you may be to my person, short hair is the optimal hair length for almost every gender. Why? I'll give you three reasons why you should reconsider your hair length below.

3. Hair In Your Face

Every person that has ever had long hair has been faced with this problem, me included. Unless you tie up your hair in a bun-shaped manner, (which isn't a very acceptable social norm for males) your hair will be in your face. Depending on hair length, you may get the standard "hair-in-eyes" annoyance, all the way to the  "grudge-girl-scare-everyone-away" appearance every time you bend over and look back up without adjusting your hair. We've all been there.

Especially her.

Since I've had relatively long hair for a majority of my life, I understand these pains. The agony of getting loose hairs fall into my eye or having to push hair away from my face every time I look down. It's horrific! The itching and irritating specks of wonder-hair that never leaves your eye socket by choice, or the hair that constantly hangs in front of your eyes, blocking your view of the outside world. It can even go as far as covering your vision by simply looking down to do your homework or take a test. Nobody should have to live that way!

Unless you want to get a mullet to preserve your "youthful-angst" or such, cut your dang hair, hippie.

2. Acne/Hair Oil

Here's another annoyance that commonly inflicts horrible conditions such as the ones listed below, due to a abundance of hair. Acne. Wait, what? How does my hair have anything to do with my acne problems? Actually, a lot. Have you ever noticed that if you don't wash your hair everyday, your hair becomes oily and "thick"? If you ignore the fact that your body is producing it, your hair is practically a paintbrush of oil that uses your face as its canvas.

Except it wouldn't look like this at the end.

Even if you listen to common skin care tips such as washing your face often, your oily hair will slowly harbor and creep oil into your unsuspecting pores as you sleep in an ambush. Want less acne? Cut your hair good and short; with short hair, the worst you can possibly get is acne on your scalp, and if you have enough oil to put acne on your scalp, you probably have bigger problems than acne on your scalp.

[1] - Picture taken from

1. More Manageable

Everybody that has ever had long hair would agree with me on this one. One thing about long hair that is unavoidable, is that you need to take care of it. In order to avoid split ends (which is common with long hair) and greasy hair, you'll have wash your hair more often and take actual care of it. That means not running around a factory full of spinning cogs and gears with your hair waving in the air like in the movies.

Alternatively, you can eat your hair. (Just because.)

Considering that you'll have to wash your hair more often with shampoo and other possible products, you'll actually save money by getting short hair too! Not only will you have to wash less, but you'll use less of the soap per wash! What this means is that you don't need to starve yourself every Tuesday in order to afford a new bottle of shampoo at the end of the month! (Because we all do that, right?!) Hurray!

I was going to put a picture of a homeless person along with a smug comment here, but I couldn't find a picture that didn't make you question the values of life along with the items and actions we merit of others and ourselves in the course of daily life. So here's two cute dogs behind a fence.