Monday, December 12, 2011

4 Of The Most Annoying Facebook Posts

Chances are, you live in the 21st century, and if you do, you've probably heard of this website called Facebook. (If you haven't, it's a a wonderful marketplace for selling pastries and popsicles. You should check it out.) Inside of this website, it is likely to find millions of little devious creatures of the night that scratch comments onto mystical contraptions called "walls". Today, we're going to discuss the top four most annoying Facebook posts that are commonly seen in modern culture.

4. Passive Aggressive Posts

We can usually observe these activities among the weaker portion of the species. (Although all members are still susceptible) Late at night, often exhausted and beyond the normal capacity of logic and reason, these lifeforms fall into the perfect conditions needed to strike their foes passively with little to no shame or regret. Through extremely vague terminology, analogies, quotes, poems, we can easily discern the difference between these passive aggressive passages towards unknown individuals and   everyday articles from mom and pop. Here are some examples:

  1. "wtf. i wish he would just leave my life 4ever."
  2. "go shoot yourself."
  3. "i saw her with him again today. if only i had a car........ rofl jk........... 6_6"

3. Self-Glamouring Philosophical Posts 

In this modern culture, many people find themselves inclined to express newly-found philosophical ideas and concepts, ten seconds after discovering them. One possible reason for this exemplified enlightenment might root from the individual's need to spread their self-deemed, "highly advanced"
trail of thought, in order to impress the peers of their species and show off their mental and emotional maturity.

The problem with these posts is that most people who write these comments usually write a cliche single sentences, exclaiming their deeply philosophical conclusion without any background, which provides a unpalatable backdrop which often causes people to disregard the comment. People who do provide background, often go into paragraph rants that don't come together into a coherent point.

"Sometimes, life is like a box of apple sauce, you always know what you're going to get."

Along with the egotistical purpose of the post, the best thing you can do for yourself is to keep the philosophical discoveries to yourself until you truly understand, interpret them, and apply them.(Not in the first 5 hour time-slot in which all you want to do is rant about the topic.) Who said individual growth isn't cool? Here are some examples:

  1. "Life has no meaning"
  2. "Life is like race, you just gotta keep pushing. rofl cats."
  3. "sometimes, u gotta let him go so that you can move on with ur life"
  4. "even if life pushes you down, the only thing you can do is dust yourself off and get back up. am I cool now? lol"

2. "Facebook is Twitter" Posts

Other members of this mystical society feel the need to treat their intangible "wall" as a personal literary outlet of physical action and/or other emotional situations. The result are hundreds of endlessly pointless posts detailing small actions and thoughts that are meaningless (or rather, valueless) to everybody who isn't the original poster. Even if they do make sense however, the multitude of the situation is so large that the result is comparable to the lesson learned the the fable, "The Boy Who Cried Wolf". Here are some examples:

  1. "lol, I'm going to go pee."
  2. "wtf, I just tripped on my shoe laces xd!"
  3. "I think im going to sleep now"
  4. "work r so boring!"
  6. "If you think about it, particles exhibit both properties of physical particles AND waves. rofl, my cat just tripped over! LAMO."

1. Facebook Application Advertisement Posts

Some people of this cyber community have discovered the gaming portion of the "Facebook" website. Both sexes may generally play these games to past the time, which is no problem alone. However, most of the games require the player to inadvertently advertise the game to their friends with computer generated posts that attempt to gain one's interest with quotes that suggest you play a specific game otherwise risking horrible intangible events.

"I didn't buy my non-existent puppy a picture of a sofa that doesn't really exist! How do I sleep at night!?"

The problem is most evident in those that play these games and use their virtual database of friends to blast such blasphemous advertisements to their friends daily. The equivalent would be sharing a room with a friend, and coming home to hundreds of stuffed Coca Cola bears that cry unless you buy a soda. (It would be fair if you don't get the metaphor, it doesn't happen to everyone everyday)

  1. "John just found a lost puppy! Will you take care of this puppy? If you don't, he'll be put down! Can you live with that? How do you sleep at night?"
  2. "Join Sarah in MobsterFights2.0 and build the biggest crime empire that the world will ever see!"