Horrifying Tuesday: The Mantis Shrimp

The Mantis Shrimp is possibly one of the most innovative creatures of the ocean due to its cleverness and undeniably powerful jabs. If you thought that you were a good boxer, wait until you meet this little guy and get introduced to a whole new world of pain. But how could a small marine crustacean pose any threat to your masculinity? It may or may not be related to the fact that they're common referred as "sea locusts" and "thumb splitters".

"Why hello there, my good man!" - The Mantis Shrimp

To emphasize how hardcore these creatures are, the Mantis Shrimp are commonly placed into two different groups depending on which type of claw they have. There are "Spearers" which have spiky appendages with barbed tips, which are used to rapidly stab and break prey. The other group is called "Smashers" which have their appendages in a blunter form which gives them a more developed club that can be used to smash their victims apart like a hammer, while making their stabbing less effective as a result. But you can't win them all, right?

But despite only having a "spear" or a "club", these creatures are capable of taking on and killing much larger victims with these rudimentary weapons. They are commonly known for their unbelievable quickness in both spear and club, capable of firing a single jab/smash at the same acceleration of a .22 caliber bullet. Their lunging punch can be shot at their prey with an acceleration of nearly 335,000 ft/s^2. What does this all mean? It means that by the time you finish your first punch, this little guy would probably be starting dinner.

"Would you like a plate? I've made way too much for my own appetite." - The Mantis Shrimp

Read more »

Things You Don't Want - Fatal Familial Insomnia

Since it's the season of giving and receiving, one of the most talked topic of the month is "getting things". From Black Friday to "Cyber Monday", getting things for cheap is all the rage. However, while you can probably get a great deal at your local Best Buy or internet retailer that you'll love, I'll give you one thing that you probably wouldn't want, for free. Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to, Fatal Familial Insominia, a disease so horrible that it'll practically turn your brain into a ticking time-bomb.

Pictured: Fatal Familial Insomnia?

Fatal familial insomnia or FFI, is one of the rarest diseases of the brain that you can inherit in the entire big, bad world. Only 40 families in the entire world have been recorded to have such disorder in which their DNA contains a mutated version of the gene PrPc. If you're in one of the lucky few families, it only takes one parent to give their offspring (You!) a 50% chance of taking on the gene and developing the disease later in life. Luckily, you can still get this disease spontaneously without any family history indicating the disorder. (In which case it would be called sporadic fatal insomnia, SFI, or extremely unlucky.)

But what does FFI/SFI do exactly? We've all heard of the words "insomnia" and "fatal", so it has to do something with inability to sleep and death, right? Right you are! You're on a roll today! But kidding aside, FFI is an incurable disease that involves a slow painful path to death. People that suffer from FFI typically have 18 more months to live before they finally succumb to the dementia-like symptoms of the disease and die.

Move unrelated.

Read more »

3 Reasons To Get Shorter Hair

Have you had your fill of turkey meat and super-early shopping this weekend yet? Me too. It's about time to hang your coat, put your new game consoles in the closet, and put your feet up with a sigh of content, right? Nope, you've probably got work, school, or work-finding to do on Monday. Life never gives you a break, does it? However, despite the amount you work on weekdays, there's one thing that'll follow you from weekday to weekend. Your hair. Unless you find yourself as a victim as a horrific radiation incident between the time you read this until Monday morning, this article probably applies to you.

Unless you're a BALD Eagle, if you catch my "drift".

I'm here to present the case of short hair. Have short hair already? Great! Move along with your shoulders high and chest bloated! You deserved it! Hold on, you've got long hair? What type of witchery are you trying to pull on me! (Thankfully, we're not in the same room.) Ignoring how far or how close you may be to my person, short hair is the optimal hair length for almost every gender. Why? I'll give you three reasons why you should reconsider your hair length below.

3. Hair In Your Face

Every person that has ever had long hair has been faced with this problem, me included. Unless you tie up your hair in a bun-shaped manner, (which isn't a very acceptable social norm for males) your hair will be in your face. Depending on hair length, you may get the standard "hair-in-eyes" annoyance, all the way to the  "grudge-girl-scare-everyone-away" appearance every time you bend over and look back up without adjusting your hair. We've all been there.

Especially her.

Since I've had relatively long hair for a majority of my life, I understand these pains. The agony of getting loose hairs fall into my eye or having to push hair away from my face every time I look down. It's horrific! The itching and irritating specks of wonder-hair that never leaves your eye socket by choice, or the hair that constantly hangs in front of your eyes, blocking your view of the outside world. It can even go as far as covering your vision by simply looking down to do your homework or take a test. Nobody should have to live that way!

Unless you want to get a mullet to preserve your "youthful-angst" or such, cut your dang hair, hippie.

Read more »

Happy Thanksgiving!

As you may know, tomorrow's Thanksgiving!  A time to give thanks for the things we have and to eat turkey along with miscellaneous other foods, with family! A time for family and friends to come together and binge eat for two to three hours, followed by ten hours of occupied toilets. (I mean, the food's gotta go somewhere, right?)

Well it's not going to digest itself.

For that single reason, we're going to hold off from any articles until the holiday is over so that you can spend more time with your family and less time reading my master-crafted articles that excel any other blog on the internet by yours truly. Am I exaggerating in the slightest?

I knew this image was a keeper!

Anyways, regardless of the amount of food and friends you have around the table tomorrow night, lets remember all the things we've been given to work with in life and give great thanks to whomever has given them to us. Lets not stupid-fy the holiday to simple feast with family, or as a holiday that simply doesn't apply to you since you don't celebrate it with cranberry juice in one hand and a turkey leg in the other. Lets not spend another day of our lives in front of our TV/computer screen and take a moment out of a day to reflect.

Before we let you go back to families and lives, some of you might be wondering what we are thankful for. Well that's none of your business, move along now. Just kidding, simply adjust your eyes slowly towards your nose and scroll down with your mouse until you see inconspicuously placed paragraphs. 

If you see this turkey, you're going in the right direction.

What We're Thankful For:

Eddard:

"Firstly, I'm thankful for having a job. I can have a steady souce of income to carry myself and help out others when necessary as I continue school.

Next, I'm thankful for family and friends who through this past year, I've been able to build deeper relationships with. I've learned a lot about some people and gotten much closer with them, which is very edifying and joyful to become close with them.

Lastyle, I'm thankful for God and the church that I go to which is what really keeps me going a lot of the times where I feel hopeless and lost. The very people I have become close with come from this very church and so I am thankful that it is there for me, both the building and the people."

Norman:

"I'm grateful for the support I've received from this blog. It's hard to put a number, or even words to describe how I feel about the support that I get from this blog. As it started only a few months ago, we've undoubtedly expanded beyond my small social group and we've began to outreach people from around the country, and the world. Regardless of expansion, I wouldn't be writing here today if it wasn't for the comments and kind words I've received about my articles and writings throughout these tough times. It's extremely hard to explain the psychological "lift" that I get after a long day of school and writing from a simple "Hey, nice article."

In a personal note, I'm thankful for all my friends and family that have supported me throughout the year and my overall life. As I've grown and matured in the past few years, I've realized the large contributions people have made in acts of selflessness that have really effected my life and the other people around them. Thinking back, without these specific people who have help shaped me and guided me to who I am today, I would be feel great shame and pity for what I could have become as a result. 

While I'm not the most sociable and pronounced guy in person, I am truly grateful for practically every person I've come across, as they have greatly impacted my life for the better. Some of the people I know that I've yet to thank due to social, physical and emotional barriers, I would like to thank you today. Thank you."

Now that we've told you what we're thankful for, why don't you exchange the favor and tell us what you're thankful for on this faithful day/evening? Don't worry, we won't charge you a dime. (Like we totally used to do.)

Here's a autumn-themed image to lighten the mood. 

Happy Thanksgiving,

Skyakes Staff

Horrifying Tuesday: Sydney Funnel-Web Spider

Ah, it's that time of the week again! The sky's shining, the air's crisp, and children play in the fall leaves, what else could be added to that equation to make a better day? You know where this is leading, Horrifying Tuesday! Today, we're going to talk about one of the most deadliest and aggressive spiders known to man, the Sydney Funnel-Web Spider. So yeah, if you're a little jumpy around spiders, you should probably close this page and turn on your TV to watch some children cartoons.

While you're at it, why don't go you knitting or something?

The Sydney funnel-web spiders are  medium to large in size, (in spider terms) which honestly doesn't matter due to the fact that you'll find yourself in the fetal position regardless of their size. The spiders are usually glossy dark, ranging from dark blueberry to dark apricot colors. Thanks to nature, the spiders are practically hairless, which allows the spider to come off with the famed black glossy finish on its body. Just like a well-waxed head, without the lethal venom thing though.

These spiders commonly create burrow-retreats in which the entrance appears to look like a "funnel" due to the amount of webbing that the spider usually creates. Instead of making some type of lame floating web between a few branches or corners, these spiders prefer to make their homes in small burrows in which they fill up with web to make a tube-shapes.

The arrow indicates where hell begins.

Read more »