Horrifying Tuesday: Sydney Funnel-Web Spider

Ah, it's that time of the week again! The sky's shining, the air's crisp, and children play in the fall leaves, what else could be added to that equation to make a better day? You know where this is leading, Horrifying Tuesday! Today, we're going to talk about one of the most deadliest and aggressive spiders known to man, the Sydney Funnel-Web Spider. So yeah, if you're a little jumpy around spiders, you should probably close this page and turn on your TV to watch some children cartoons.

While you're at it, why don't go you knitting or something?

The Sydney funnel-web spiders are  medium to large in size, (in spider terms) which honestly doesn't matter due to the fact that you'll find yourself in the fetal position regardless of their size. The spiders are usually glossy dark, ranging from dark blueberry to dark apricot colors. Thanks to nature, the spiders are practically hairless, which allows the spider to come off with the famed black glossy finish on its body. Just like a well-waxed head, without the lethal venom thing though.

These spiders commonly create burrow-retreats in which the entrance appears to look like a "funnel" due to the amount of webbing that the spider usually creates. Instead of making some type of lame floating web between a few branches or corners, these spiders prefer to make their homes in small burrows in which they fill up with web to make a tube-shapes.

The arrow indicates where hell begins.

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Horrifying Tuesday : Asian Giant Hornet

As any animal with the words "Giant Hornet" in their name, they're generally not a pleasant animal. This week, we're going to talk about the Asian Giant Hornet, which is no laughing matter. These aren't those little raccoons that break into your house and steal some of your dishes; these guys are going to break into your house, bite the crap out of you, steal your furniture, and kidnap your children. Okay, they won't kidnap your children.

"But we will steal your high-quality china"

The Asian Giant Hornet, or the Vespa madarinia is one the world's largest hornet in the entire world. Their body length is about 2 inches, and their wingspan is about 3 inches. Think about it, two inches of flying agony, flying around looking for fine-quality furniture and a nice exposed skin to latch on.

They are native to tropical Eastern Asia, hence the name. Since we know nothing 'good' comes out of any jungle from Asia, we can safely assume that the Asian Giant Hornet isn't going to be a fluffy bear that throws love and magical love at people. The Japanese have even named the critter "suzume bachi" which literally means "Sparrow Hornet", which is disappointingly not "Awesome/hardcore Instant Killer Of All Things Hornet" as I've suggested at the "Give Animals A Local Nickname" conference.

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4 Animals You Never Want To Meet

Animals? Shucks, those nice little puppies and cats? Why wouldn't I want to meet them? Because some animals are freaking hardcore, that's why. For the past thousands of years, we've been on the top of food chain, our cities and technology kept us on top, and salmon down in the river. Now despite of that, if I put you in a locked box with one of the the following animals, let's say the outcome won't be pretty. Now here's four animals you probably wouldn't want to wake up next to.

The list below is in no particular order.

The American Bear

"Look what I found just LAYING in the river! What great luck!"

Well, this is a no-brainer right? In our case, we're looking at the American Black Bear. Patriotic right?

The American Black Bear, is the most commonly found bear in, (Guess.) North America. These beast, are actually America's smallest species of bear, but that doesn't keep them from using your shins as toothpicks after eating you.

American Black Bears can weigh around 300 pounds depending on which coast you're on they can weigh a bit more, or less. Although some of the largest American Black Bears have reached the weight of 880 pounds, so make sure you don't find your way under one. They're known to be able to flip rocks weighing about 318 pounds with a single paw, so yeah, I think they might be able to pick you up with their pinkie-paw.

Well, I know what you're thinking in your head, "Sure he's strong, but can he run as fast as me?" Well shucks, I guess you're right. Oh wait, bears can run 25-30 miles per an hour. Some of the trained "world record breaking" athletics can reach the speeds of 27 mph, so chances are, you're not outrunning this Black Bear.

Lucky for you, American Black Bears tend to be considered relatively "safe". These bears rarely attack during human encounters. They tend to limit themselves to fake charges, swatting the ground angrily, and making loud blowing noises. But that doesn't mean you should charge up at the next bear you see as if you're Chuck Norris or something. If they decide to lay down justice, they will lay down justice.

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