Showing posts with label things. Show all posts
Showing posts with label things. Show all posts
Monday, November 21, 2011

3 Things You Didn't Know About Your Eyes

If you're reading this, you probably have the gift of vision. (If you don't, you should write me a letter that details your magical abilities of sight without using your eyes.) As you know from your mom, your eyes are one of those miracles of life, a scope to the outside world and a mirror into the soul. But how much do you really know about the human eye other than the cones & rods system? Unless you're an eye care professional, I suggest you to read on!

Eye professional? Hahahaha.

3. Your eyes are fully developed by age seven

You may have noticed that kids under the age of six are usually forced to take eye exams to check their vision, after elementary school and middle school, they pretty much stop checking your vision. Why's that? Because after you're seven-years-old, your eyes are fully developed.

That's right. By the time you're seven-years-old, your eyes are at their tip-top quality that they'll ever be. After that age, the only direction your eyes can go is down. Other than occasionally repairing small cell loss every now and then, your vision will cease to improve. The height of your visionary capabilities would have hit the roof, and the only way it can go is down. Do you see what I'm trying to say? (Get it? 'See'? Nevermind.)

The reason they give such "extensive" vision tests before your eyes are fully developed isn't to mock your inferior vision, but to make sure your eyes are developing properly and to catch little disorders that can only be treated before your eyes are fully developed, such as lazy eye/Amblyopia. If it's caught early, it's still possible to achieve that 20/20 vision on your vision test and make your parents proud.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my perfect vision."

Monday, November 14, 2011

3 Things I Hate About Fall/Winter

As much as I love the cold compared to the blistering heat, there are some things about the season that I'm not very happy about. While this might come as a surprise to you, Fall and Winter aren't perfect despite what we crank them up to be. Sure, you can sleep comfortably and avoid the sweltering heat, but that doesn't mean there aren't any compromises.

1. Day Light Savings

We all know what day light savings is. It's that time of the year to switch your clocks back an hour. Just kidding, your magical technological contraptions will do it themselves! Anyways, we can all agree that getting an extra hour to sleep on Saturday is one of those little gifts from life to give you a break, right? So what's so bad about it? Does the Skyakes Staff hate rest? Do we have something against sleep and extra time?

Somebody stop that dog! Won't anyone think of the children?!

The problem with day light savings is that the benefits don't last forever. After getting a nice hour of extra sleep, what then? We suddenly change our minds and switch our clocks forward and call it a day? Of course not; we have to live with it until summer. Suddenly, we have to endure extremely bright mornings that feel like afternoons and late afternoons that look like sunsets.

Along with the region's seasonal day changes, the hour set-back pushes days to start earlier and end earlier. By the time you're leaving work or school, the sun is waving you goodbye and you end up stuck with lame ol' moon for the rest of your "leisure" time before the next full day of work.

Go away! Nobody wants you!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011

3 Things You Suspect About The Witness Protection Program - That Aren't True

Talk about long titles eh? Anyways, we all probably know what the Witness Protection Program is; a worthless program to create a false sense of protection for snitches so that we can extract information out of them, right? We've all seen those TV shows and movies where they track down the snitch within a single episode's time and kill the snitch as he/she begs for mercy with their white collar family in a sub-urban home, but is it true? Well it's about time to shine some light into the Witness Protection Program once and for all.


3. The Witness Protection Program is a hack!

Many people believe that the Witness Protection Program is equivalent to calling yourself Timmy and hiding in your closet. At most, the program will simply give you a different name and re-locate you a few miles south! Even at that, the police are as corrupt as a giant rocks balancing on larger stationary rocks! They'll give up your location at a heart's beat!

You got me. I only made made that simile so that I could use this image.

In reality, not a single member of the Witness Protection Program has ever been harmed while they followed the guidelines of the program. That's right. As long as you don't call your friends back in prison to tell them how you got away and how lame they are, you've gotten away scot-free. Which brings me to my next point.
"U.S. Marshals Service Witness Security personnel are the leading authorities and foremost experts on witness security matters, providing guidance and training to many government officials throughout the world."[1]

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

3 Things We Should Thank The Medieval Times For

Eddard here, so sorry for the delay of posts, I'm sure you missed wise words from me and my oh so clever japes. Japes, a word oft used in medieval times! Well not really, Old English which was common in the early Middle Ages actually did not have the letter J. Also to clear any confusion of the title of this post, I am not talking about the lovely dinner and show affair that is Medieval Times, but boy, do I wish I was, I mean it's only the greatest thing ever, guys beating each other with weaponry, sheer joy!

Anyway back to the important stuff; the Medieval Times, we owe them a lot. We wouldn't even have the concept of romantic love without those lovey dovey knights being ever so gallant towards fair maidens. (Another side note, romantic love did not arise from gallant knights, don't go telling your friends I told you that, however, the rest is totally true. Totally.) So, onto the list of things we take for granted, but were totally amazing several centuries ago!

And you thought Go Fish was fun!

Monday, August 22, 2011

5 Things Everyone Should Do Daily

This post isn't about super-secret things unheard of that will benefit your health in supernatural ways. These are things that everybody should do such as breathing and excreting feces; but for some reason, people have found ways to avoid and/or forget to do these extremely important things. We're not teaching anyone something new here, we're simply stressing the importance of not pissing the ground naked while dancing like wild monkeys.

Shower? Hahahahahahaha.

4. Brush Your Teeth Twice A Day

Yeah, we've all heard of brushing our teeth right? How many of us do it twice a day? Put your hands down, nobody asked you. Despite common belief, some people don't brush their teeth twice a day, once in the morning, and once before bedtime. But why is brushing twice so darn important? Perhaps because the mystical protective abilities of brushing your teeth wears off as the twilight of the moon hits it brightest peak?