3 Things You Suspect About The Witness Protection Program - That Aren't True

Talk about long titles eh? Anyways, we all probably know what the Witness Protection Program is; a worthless program to create a false sense of protection for snitches so that we can extract information out of them, right? We've all seen those TV shows and movies where they track down the snitch within a single episode's time and kill the snitch as he/she begs for mercy with their white collar family in a sub-urban home, but is it true? Well it's about time to shine some light into the Witness Protection Program once and for all.

3. The Witness Protection Program is a hack!

Many people believe that the Witness Protection Program is equivalent to calling yourself Timmy and hiding in your closet. At most, the program will simply give you a different name and re-locate you a few miles south! Even at that, the police are as corrupt as a giant rocks balancing on larger stationary rocks! They'll give up your location at a heart's beat!

You got me. I only made made that simile so that I could use this image.

In reality, not a single member of the Witness Protection Program has ever been harmed while they followed the guidelines of the program. That's right. As long as you don't call your friends back in prison to tell them how you got away and how lame they are, you've gotten away scot-free. Which brings me to my next point.

"U.S. Marshals Service Witness Security personnel are the leading authorities and foremost experts on witness security matters, providing guidance and training to many government officials throughout the world."[1]

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Why You're Unlikely To Become A Doctor

Don't all parents want their children to become doctors? It's every parent's dream for their child to be join such highly respected professionals and  bring home a six figure paycheck every month. But the thing is, in all honestly, you're unlikely to become a doctor unless you're really dedicated and smart. However, I'm not talking about "summer school" dedicated or "getting tutored on weekends" dedicated, but wholly hardcore dedication since the start of life. If you ever want to become a actual physician, you need to start at the elementary school-middle school stage, suddenly deciding to take school seriously after 8 years of fooling around isn't as simple flipping a pancake.

All you really need is a stethoscope.

In order to become a doctor, you don't simply sign a few applications, take a few tests, and simply stride into your shiny doctor's office. In order to become a doctor, you can expect to spend almost a decade and a half in school before becoming a full-fledged doctor. What that means is that, you must be willing to throw away your early adult life and let go of the little pleasures of life such as eating out or taking a extra nap on the weekends in order to become a doctor in the future. If you're not willing to spend and commit your entire 20s and half of your 30s in school, don't walk half the journey before deciding to go a different route.

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About You

A post dedicated about you, the reader? Why that's just preposterous! This post isn't about you specifically; So you can calm down about me revealing that secret about that time you soiled your pants before recital and I covered for you. That's between us. This article is pretty much, the collective information I have about all my readers. So don't worry, I don't know where you keep your "secret pictures".

"I better move these files anyways, just in case."

According to my statistics, 44% of you use Chrome! Saaay what? You could say that Google is really getting ahead in the 'browser' competition. How about the rest? The number two competitor, is 24% with Internet Explorer. Come on guys, step into the future. Scratch that, the present. At very least, I hope you're using Internet Explorer 9. Because if I find our that you're still using that old 1873 era browser, I will find you.

"Oh really?"

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Hippopotamuses Wants You Dead

Better known as simply "Hippos", they are one of the most aggressive animals in the world. For unknown reasons, this animal was misplaced in our previous post about "the most aggressive animals in the world". Worry not, we shall cover this vile beast below!

Hippopotamus, you mean those cut-, littl-, lovel-, you got me. They're simply horrible. One does not use the words "Hipoptamus", and "cute" in the same sentence. Because they're not. If you have never seen a Hippo in real life, here's a picture of one.

I lied, here's about eleven. Enjoy.

As you can see, they look like giant water pigs. Not really appealing. The average hippo can weigh 3650 pounds. If you stack 6 Hippos together, you'll have the weight of a bus. (Although, older male hippos can weigh almost 10,000 pounds.) They can become 11 to 17 feet long, which is almost as long as four people lying down toe to face on the ground.

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