Wednesday, April 11, 2012

3 Important Things To Do In A Fight

We've all gotten in a physical one-on-one fight before, right? Regardless of you being the person dealing the punches, or the one receiving all the pain, I think it's safe to say that we've all seen humanity's tendency towards conflict. Due to this, it would be an exceptional time to discuss three very important fundamentals that everyone should know before entering a fight. While you won't suddenly become the Bruce Lee in the battlefield after reading this article, it'll certainly help you get started.

At very least, it'll help you get 4.6% less dominated in the arena.

3. Curl your thumbs on the side of your fist (aka. Remember how to form a fist)

One of the most important thing you can do in a fight is to make sure your tools of fighting are in proper condition, before throwing the first punching. While we're sure that you have enough common sense to not fight someone if your hands are bandaged up from a severe chainsaw accident resulting in the lost of all your fingers, there are some precautions to take for everyone that are vital to the resultant fight. The first thing you can do is to curl your thumbs on the side of your curled fingers. (Consult below image if the your visual brain centers of your brain fail you)

Feel free to angrily shake your fist as such to celebrate such accomplishment.

But what's the big deal about it? Why not keep your thumb in its natural, outstretched position with four curled fingers? Why not hide your thumb away under your curled fingers to keep it snug and happily hidden? The reason it's a big deal to keep your thumb curled in front of your curled fingers is as simple as keeping all your digits intact, after the fight.

If you think that you're too cool to fall into society's traditions and keepsakes, you can feel free to break your thumb. For one, if your thumb is in any other position other than shown above, (in a fist fight) you risk damaging, "jamming", dislocating, or even breaking your thumb. Punching with your thumbs tucked away inside your fingers is as stupid as punching with your thumbs tucked away inside your fingers. Any force you put onto your finger, (as in the punch) will be directed onto your thumb and possibly dislocate it. Punching with your thumb outstretched forward puts your thumb ahead of your fist, making it perfectly possible to destroy the tip of your thumb, or get it caught in the after-punch resulting in a thumbs-up injury.

Following this concept of fist curled over fingers is the one of the only sure-fire ways to avoid getting your beautiful hands damaged during a fight. So unless your opponent is going straight for your thumbs with a vendetta, you should be as good as apricots.

2. Don't aim for the face

Now that you've got your instruments of pain ready to deliver a beating, we've gotta learn where to actually go for. Instead of teaching you how to fight, we'll simply give you a stern warning about aiming for the face. So getting started, we'll admit the appeal of punching someone in their disgusting, eraser-stealing, no-good face. However, no matter how many erasers they may have stolen from you, it's generally preferable to not aim for their face. Why? Is it some type of secret "gentlemen's honor code" that nobody's heard about? Actually, we can file this one under common sense.

Instead of going for the face, go straight for the flowers! Hah! Take that!

The reason that it's highly recommended to not go for the face is the same reason to not punch a bag of coins. You can easily fracture or break your hand as a resultant in punching someone in their face bags. The thing is, a large majority of a person's face is made up of bone, bone that is harder than your fist; that means that if things move slightly out of place when you go for the guy's cheek, you could easily hit him somewhere where it hurts, for both you and the other person. The thing is, while they may have a broken nose and a ruptured cheek, they still have both hands to get even. Unless you like to live life on the edge, you're better off going for their torso. (Better yet, not even getting in a fight at all.)

1. Keep your mouth close

One of the most valuable things you can learn here is to remember to keep your mouth shut. Sadly, we aren't talking about the trash talk that some opponents like to throw out, we're talking about literally keeping your mouth shut. Unbeknownst to you, you may be one of the few million/billion people that fight with their mouths open. While we're not suggesting that you drool out of your mouth and swing your arms around while making wind noises, people usually end up with their mouths open at one point in the fight. The reason people end up with their mouths open is due to the natural inclination to gasp for needed air with the fastest route available (their mouths) during a intense duel. (Or gravity just trying to catch you off guard)

"While you have your little petty fight over there, I'm just going to collapse the fabric of time and space here; don't mind me" - Scumbag Gravity

The reason behind it is as simple as keeping your jaw intact. With your jaw open and relaxed, it allows any lucky punches that make it through to make direct contact with your jaw and your jaw only. With it slightly tighten and shut, it'll most likely spread throughout your face (as unpleasant as it sounds) and thus protect your jaw from flying out. If not that, your force downwards will hopefully overcome the force flying towards it. 

But even if you think that your jaw can take a pounding, allow me to remind you that with your mouth open, it makes it so much easier to accidentally bite down onto your cheek or tongue during a attack forward or a defense inward; and honestly, how much more beating do you need in your life?

A little more to be frank. *LE PUN*