Horrifying Tuesday: Casu Marzu

Welcome back to Horrifying Tuesday! Wasn't the lack of something horrifying for the past few weeks, purely horrifying? Thankfully, we've saved something that's especially terrifying for today. Speaking of terrifying, is there anything in the world worst than rotten, stinky, maggot-infested cheese? If your answer to that question goes along the lines of "Why yes, good sir. There is certainly nothing more disgruntling than a rotten roll of cheese", then you're going to love today's topic.

Article may/may not be related to apricots*

The Casu Marzu is a traditional Sardinian sheep milk cheese, that happens to have a extra "umfp" than your regular cheeses. While we've all heard of those "aged cheeses" that cost a few thousands dollars due to the hundreds of years worth of effort put into them. Casu Marzu takes "aging cheese" one step further by going beyond the typical fermentation stage, and goes into some crossroad between insanity, torture, and decomposition. How? Why? We'll explain.

The Casu Marzu brings about this "super-advanced" aging process by using the helpful assistance of the Fruit fly.  To be more specific, the larvae of the Cheese fly. In order to establish the natural soft texture taste, the larvae of the Fruit fly are introduced to the cheese in order to break down the cheese's fats and therefore bringing it to the next level of insanity decomposition fermentation. Before we go any further, allow me to explain how it's fermented.

Read more »

The Victory That Is... Pie

Did you say cake? Pish posh! You might as well feed me a sugary sponge! Well whatever shall I enjoy then as a delightful dessert to tickle my stomach fluids? Why pie of course! From the simplicity of apple pie to the decadence of pecan, pie is the multifaceted food of your life, and your future...

I know, your head just exploded. Then it reformed and ate this.

So, why pie? Is it time for a list? Yes, I'll take one please, hold the whipped cream.

1. Pie is delicious - Does this even need describing? Pies are like supermodels, except if you eat them it's morally okay. They are filled with amazing things like blueberries, sugar, fairies, custard and fairies. Well, maybe not the latter, but the rest is definitely there.

2. Pie is universal - You can eat pie for breakfast. You can it eat it for lunch. You can eat it for dinner. You can eat it for dessert. You can eat it for a 2am snack. You can eat it for second breakfast. "But wait Eddard, I don't like Mississippi Mud Pie for breakfast! I want sausages and eggs!" Guess what? You can put that in a pie. I repeat you can put that in a pie. Holy moley. There are so many more types of pies than sweet ones, Steak and Kidney pie, Shepherd's pie, Chicken pot pie, the possibilities are endless. Cake, that's just sweet, and sweet is for nincompoops. (Yes pies can be sweet, no you are not a nincompoop for liking them, no more questions about this)

Read more »

3 Foods You'll Never Afford

In this time of age, if your car isn't plated with pure gold, then you're practically equivalent to a homeless man. Foods are no different, if you're not eating ice cream with emeralds, then you must be eating dried mud cakes. I mean, what's the point of continued existence if you aren't eating a middle classes year wage for brunch?

Almas Caviar

Almas Caviar is probably one of the most expensive foods you can possibly buy. This magical food comes from Iran and the only known place that sells it is in London, England and since they are the only ones that sell it, they can do pretty much do any gosh darn thing they want.

As a short history lesson, Caviar used to be "peasants" food but as we all know, has taken a turn in the present time period. As lobster used to be like "cockroaches" of the sea, Caviar was considered food for the low class. Why? Possibly because this exclusive food is in laymen's terms, processed, salted, internal ovaries or eggs. (Non-fertilized of course, otherwise you'll have little hatching baby fishes going about everywhere.)

It's like pearls made out of dead baby fishes! Wonderful!  

As I've said before the only place that sells "Almas Caviar" is in London, England, and is called "Caviar House &  Prunier in London England's Picadilly". (Because when you sell the world's most expensive anything, you can pretty much get away with naming your store anything.)

Read more »