3 Reasons You Won't Survive War

Welcome to the United States Army, Private. You are now enlisted into an arm of America's military, the gun boys who go out and fight the good fight for the sake of us back home. Ok, you're not really enlisted but hey, I'm a writer, I have to make you feel the illusion of combat boots and sweaty green clothed people right? Moving on from such tasteful images we go to war. War is by all means conflict to resolve strife between two or more opposed sides. And by conflict I mean armed conflict. You think you have what it takes, don't you? You just smoked Spetsnaz in Call of Duty 0.7 seconds ago, no one can stand against your military prowess! Well Colonel Buttkickkillallmasterdeathmachine, let's probe some aspects of why you won't live up to that wonderful name I just gave you.

Note: This article does not apply to Spetsnaz soldiers.

Seriously, Spetsnaz will kill you upside down flying through the air. With a hatchet.

1. You don't know where you are - If you are deployed anywhere that's not your house, will you know what to do? Modern Warfare (oddly enough this next sentence applies to the video game too!) take place in caves, deserts, mountains, all which have hidey holes and are treacherous to climb sans forty pounds of equipment and armed opposition, so how would you fare with all of that then? Your opposition on it's own soil will know exactly where they are, exactly where everything is, where to hide and where to strike. But there is hope! You after all are armed and armored and in any struggle for survival, your body will adapt to win at all costs. Yay, brain function!

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