How to Avoid Spiked Drinks

Good job, you've just finished college and you're graduating at the top of your school! You've been invited to make a speech at a prestigious award ceremony at the White House and it's only about six hours away! So you go the bar, and some of your arch-nemesis follow you along and using your keen hearing, you eavesdrop them talking about spiking your drink in order to make you"unavailable" for the speech in an attempt to ruin your future career. So what do you do? Do you turn around, throw a glass of liquor at them, charge and grab their arms and legs, flip them over onto the tables, then wrestle knives out of their hands, and force them to either let go of the knife, or slit their own throat, or do you keep a "keener" eye out for your foes?

He'll be impressed. Also, dead.

In a "legal-er" sense, lets just keep a keen eye on them; saying that you eavesdroped on a conversation about spiking your drink won't stand well in court against four mutilated bodies with at least twenty witnesses on scene, two security camera footage, and sixteen camera phone recordings.

• Prefer unopened cans and bottles. Try not to accept any unopened cans or bottles from anyone. If you're going to have anyone open your cans or bottles, have it done in front of you, by a trusted friend, bartender, waiter, or waitress.
• Note strange tasting or discolored drinks. From your extensive career in drinking fluids, you should be able to tell the difference between a normal coke/pepsi and a purple-colored cyanide concoction. Note that many "date-rape" drugs are usually colorless, odorless, and tasteless.
• Always keep your eye(s) on your drink. They can't sneak anything funny in your drink if you stare intently at it for sixteen hours straight. At the very least, keep your drink in front of you all times.
• Don't leave your drinks unattended. Don't go off to the little boys room every six minutes and leave your drink unattended for anyone to insert anything into your drink.
• Don't share drinks. Even with trusted friends. For all you know, someone could be trying to rape your foolish, careless friends, only to have you drink the spiked drink in a frenzy of sharing.
• Examine your drink before drinking. If you see unusual bubbling, fizzling, or even half-dissolved pills in the bottom of your drink, don't drink it. Perhaps you left it on the counter, does it look tampered with? Did someone move your cup slightly to the right, or adjust your straw?
• Keep your palm over the open side of your cup. Don't hold it like a hipster with your hands on the sides, hold it with your hand on top. With your hand on top, it'll suddenly become a hundred times harder to sneak anything into your drinks while you are holding it. (When you're getting drunk, your alertness will suffer, during this time, someone could excrete feces into your cup without you knowing.)*
• Go to bars with friends. Not only does this result in a good game of beer pong, but having someone watching your back, makes it harder to kidnap you.

*experiences vary

If you begin to experience the symptoms of drugging, (i.e. feeling drowsy, ill, like you're losing control, inability to move limbs, dizziness, nausea, or you feel like you are beginning to lose consciousness) get help from a friend, or bar staff as soon as possible. Don't decide to wander home alone, or sit around hoping that the feeling goes away.

One of these have date-rape drugs inside of them, can you guess which?

Date-rape drugs have very similar symptoms to drunkenness, it's hard to tell the difference. So if your friend seems to be "suspiciously inebriated" for the amount they've drank, it may be time to pull your friend out. For example, if your friend takes one drink, and is suddenly passing out everywhere, he or she may have consumed such drug.

I lied, they were all spiked.

Try drinking water along with your alcoholic beverages. The water will help subside the alcohol, which will improve your alertness and if anyone attempts to drug your water, it'll be pretty hard.

Good luck.