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Tuesday, July 19, 2011

5 Reasons Why Summer Sucks

Summer sucks and once we get past the "No School" deal-a-roo, summer blows. Summer is the hottest time in the year, making it one of the most uncomfortable times of the year. Who enjoys being uncomfortable? A raise of hands? Put those hands down.

Pictured: Standard Summer

  • Summer is Hot. Yep, did you know that? For some strange reason, summer is closely related to the temperature "hot". 
    • Warm weather causes one of the most common reactions towards heat, sweat. I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy being covered in sticky, smelly sweat from head to toe from just sitting in a chair. What's that? Why don't I use an air conditioner? Not everyone has the luxury of flipping one on at demand. Air conditioners don't get paid and powered by good wishes and happiness, they get paid but hard-worked cash. Sorry for the news.
    • What would the blistering sun do to us? Death. You can literally pass out from heat exhaustion. The temperature ranging from 70s-100s don't help that much in this situation either. Remember to drink plenty of water boys and girls.
    • Longer days. With the sun beating down at us from almost six AM, to eight PM, that's a full fourteen hours of pure sunlight squeezing the liquid goodness out of our bodies. Sure you'll have more time to 'play' outside, but is it worth the residual heat remaining on the earth while you sleep? If you can afford to use a air conditioner, the increased amount of daylight may affect your sleeping cycle in various minor to major ways.
KILL IT WITH FIRE.


  • Sunburns. If you plan to go outside to the beach, you'll have to put on a large dose of yucky sunscreen. Since it's summer the heat rays hit you longer and harder, which can result in sunburn, farmers tan, and even skin cancer!
  • Insects. Horrible creatures. As we all know, when the temperature rises back up, the little cockroaches, bugs, and flies climb back inside thanks to the heat. Even the insects don't like it! If you're not afraid of insects, do you enjoy knowing that bugs could be reproducing in your living room, your kitchen, and even your bed? Imagine swallowing one of them buggers while you sleep! In the case that you don't sleep, you'll be constantly pestered by flying insects trying to land inside of your eye.
  • Bright glare everywhere you go. While the afternoon when the sun is the highest in the sky, the sun bounces every reflective surface you go. The sun is practically trying to blind you at every interstate you turn.
  • Kids have more time on their hands. With school off, you may have noticed the increased parasitic lifeforms in parks, malls, and streets. With the increased public infatuation it may become harder for you to enjoy such places in peace.
Pictured: Parasitic lifeforms

Did you know: Gullible isn't in the dictionary.