How to Choose a Bad Password

Feel too secure? Feel like you're being cramped and stuffed with six or seven passwords of letters, numbers and symbols? Fear not! I'll help you pick a very simple to remember for every account you have access to. Having your personal information secure is too mainstream, cooler indie companies don't even have front doors! Live obliviously in glee with your fellow kinsmen in a victorious march towards equality!

When you only have four buttons on your computer, you don't have many options.

Now, how do we choose an bad password? Although we could all love to have password-less accounts, big evil capitalist giants force us to secure our account.

1. First off, use simple corresponding numbers. For example, 1234, 12345, 123456, 1234567, 12345678, 123456789. That'll show those corrupt internet organizations bent on making profit out of your own in-securities who's boss!

2. What's that? Those numbers are too difficult to remember? Better yet, use your own username as your password. If your account name to your WoW account is "sexybeastcourage1567" your password will be "sexbeastcourage1567".

3. Can't even remember your account name without "auto-fill" eh? Well, let's try your birth date okay? If your birthday is 1/21/05, then your password is 12105. Sometimes, your friends need to access your account for various life-threatening reasons, and using this password will allow them to do so for the better of mankind!

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How to Get Rid Of Revolting Breath

Bad breath eh? Your breath smells like six decaying otters and decomposed human feces mixed with cat tails eh? Well, I may just be able to help you out.

Disgusting! I mean, look at that hair!

Although most of the time, the problem may be obvious, sometimes people don't even know their breath makes you want to commit manslaughter in a extremely violent fashion towards them. So in order to avoid nice Uncle Rick from becoming Convicted of Manslaughter Uncle Rick, lets make sure you don't have bad breath.

• The best/simplest possible way is to ask someone. It doesn't hurt to turn to your left/right and ask the person next to you. Heck, it doesn't hurt to go downstairs and ask your mom. Do us all a favor and ask someone for confirmation.

It also doesn't hurt to stop making stupid faces, this guy thinks he's better then me or something!

Now, how do we get rid of this curse of infidelity bad breath?

• Clean your tongue. Doctors tell you you brush your teeth all the time, but do they really take the time to tell you to clean your tongue? It's common knowledge that your tongue takes up more space then your teeth inside of your mouth. It's like a fuzzy carpet in your houses front door, all the microbes will most likely collect there as you go on with your day. In emergency cases while eating with your girlfriends/boyfriends parents, you can technically use a spoon to "scrape" your tongue.
• Thankfully, most toothbrush nowadays have tongue cleaners on the back of the 'handy device'. If you aren't fortunate enough to have one, you can simply brush your tongue after you brush your teeth.

• Floss. This won't simply help your breath but your general oral health as well. Why not get some bacon-flavored floss and have the time of your life? A warning though, your gums will bleed due to the fact that you don't floss often, not like gushes and fountains of blood, but it might get messy if you floss too hard/violently. (If you find that your gums are bleeding, and you've floss beyond your gums and have reached the bones of your mouth, perhaps you should go a little bit lighter, also you should go to the emergency room.)

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4 Animals You Never Want To Meet

Animals? Shucks, those nice little puppies and cats? Why wouldn't I want to meet them? Because some animals are freaking hardcore, that's why. For the past thousands of years, we've been on the top of food chain, our cities and technology kept us on top, and salmon down in the river. Now despite of that, if I put you in a locked box with one of the the following animals, let's say the outcome won't be pretty. Now here's four animals you probably wouldn't want to wake up next to.

The list below is in no particular order.

The American Bear

"Look what I found just LAYING in the river! What great luck!"

Well, this is a no-brainer right? In our case, we're looking at the American Black Bear. Patriotic right?

The American Black Bear, is the most commonly found bear in, (Guess.) North America. These beast, are actually America's smallest species of bear, but that doesn't keep them from using your shins as toothpicks after eating you.

American Black Bears can weigh around 300 pounds depending on which coast you're on they can weigh a bit more, or less. Although some of the largest American Black Bears have reached the weight of 880 pounds, so make sure you don't find your way under one. They're known to be able to flip rocks weighing about 318 pounds with a single paw, so yeah, I think they might be able to pick you up with their pinkie-paw.

Well, I know what you're thinking in your head, "Sure he's strong, but can he run as fast as me?" Well shucks, I guess you're right. Oh wait, bears can run 25-30 miles per an hour. Some of the trained "world record breaking" athletics can reach the speeds of 27 mph, so chances are, you're not outrunning this Black Bear.

Lucky for you, American Black Bears tend to be considered relatively "safe". These bears rarely attack during human encounters. They tend to limit themselves to fake charges, swatting the ground angrily, and making loud blowing noises. But that doesn't mean you should charge up at the next bear you see as if you're Chuck Norris or something. If they decide to lay down justice, they will lay down justice.

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Everyday Tips: How to use There, Their, and They're Properly

One of the most popular errors in english grammar is the improper use of  there, their, and they're. Since all three of them are pronounced the same way, people often use the wrong one at the wrong time.

There are zero bodies under these nails. Guaranteed.

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Remember that "they're" is a contraction of "they" and "are". "They're" can only be used as the subject or verb in a sentence, in other words, the person or the thing doing an action, or the action itself.

Examples:

• They're/(They are) building a sandcastle.
• They're/(They are) eating a big sandwich.
• I can't believe they're/(They are) closing the shop.

Mistakes:

• There cool! (They're cool/They are cool)
• There going to laugh at my jokes! (They're going to laugh at my jokes!/They are going to laugh at my jokes!)

Tip: If you have problems with "they're" write out the entire word as "they are" instead of "they're".

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Use "there" when referring to a place. It can also be used with the verb "be" (is, am, are, was, were) to indicate something exist, or to mention something for the first time.

Examples:

• The house is over there. (Basic "place" example.)
• Is he over there?
• I am going to go over there.
• You are going to go over there.
• Was he over there?
• We were going to go over there.

Tip: You can find "here" inside of the word "there". Use "here" to remind you that you're talking about a location.

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How to Deal With Mosquito Bites

Yesterday I took a short walk at a nearby park, I was having a nice day, and suddenly, ouch! My pinkie knuckle was suddenly pricked by a stinger of a darn mosquito! (I guess mosquito are attracted to pure muscle. Just kidding.) Anyways, how do we deal with these itchy monstrous red bumps?!

"OMOMOMOMOMOM"

• Wash the affected area. We don't want remaining saliva and irritants just standing around near the bitten area, wash it off! (With soap!)
• Put ice on the bitten area. After a mosquito bite, we usually don't feel anything in that spot for a period of time, if you place ice on it before you do, you can decrease swelling and pain. It's usually preferred to wrap a towel around the ice to prevent frostbite when you apply it to affected areas.
• Rub baking soda and water onto the affected area. (Remember, rub. Don't allow your rubbing result in severely strong scratching, you'll increase swelling.) Put enough baking soda and water to form a paste.
• Crush aspirin and water to create a paste as well, rub on affected area.
• Rub the inside gooey part of the banana peel onto the mosquito bite. Repeat as needed.
• Don't scratch the bite. Scratching the bite may result in infection or even scarring.
• Dab toothpaste onto the bite to reduce pain and itchiness.

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